The 2015 Tokyo Auto Salon opened its doors yesterday to throngs of people who took the pilgrimage to Makuhari Messe, a site that is so far out that it already is in Chiba. TAS 2015 is a must-go confab of wrenchers and wenches, it is mass worship of body modifications (both kinds,) and bolt-ons (both kinds.) The rites at the annual celebration are performed by pagan nuns in traditional attire. Following the traditions of TAS, there usually is very little attire. Which is made up by a lot of attitude.
The Daily Kanban’s coverage of the annual auto adulation likewise is steeped in long tradition, its roots go back to before the beginning of time. Of course, we had to do it again.
(Careful: The following pictures will tax the bandwidth or your Internet connection, and the limits of good taste. In certain jurisdictions, if found with these pictures, you might be beheaded. Elsewhere, you may simply lose your head.)
The exclusive pictures of this report were made under great duress. As you can see, reporters were notified with big signs that the taking of photographs is strictly forbidden. Retrograde strict morals allow only fully clothed female presenters at American auto shows, even the use of see-through costumes without underwear could be banned at Chinese auto shows. Did the victory of Victorianism wash up at Japanese shores?
If you think your leg is being pulled, read the English translation. No picture-taking! This will surely disrupt blogs around the world that make most of their annual traffic by stealing the photo documentation of the last outpost of righteous chauvinism, the Tokyo Auto Salon.
At great risk to my personal freedom (and hoping that I might possibly get arrested by the officer in blue,) I defy the new strict regulations, and perform my journalistic duties.
Other reporters likewise choose to disregard the new directives. This correspondent of a large German business daily interviews an attractive redhead.
Fashion report: PVC is the material of choice in the outfits of most booth professionals.
The tastes of some company bosses still demand leather. “Fake leather,” says Frau Schmitto-san. She’s the fashion expert, I yield to her wisdom.
Rubber is used only sparingly throughout the show. At the Bridgestone booth, however, the use of latex comes with plausible deniability.
The hippie looks is attempting to stage a come-back. I’m all for it, but I should not have thrown away my suede bell-bottoms.
Hairstyles range from the sublime …
… to the eclectic.
Commercial break: This rear-view mirror may not be fully compliant with new pedestrian-protection regs, use at your own risk.
Each pagan nun must be an expert at all poses ritualized for the Tokyo Auto Salon. The lady demonstrates the “I-am-a-wayward-girl-please-put-me-back-on-the-right-path” pose.
The “That’s-not-a-pimple-silly-that’s-a-dimple” pose.
If in doubt, the “That’s-not-a-pimple-silly-that’s-a-dimple” pose can be safely used in most circumstances.
The “I-can-show-you-where-to-go” pose.
The “How-dare-you-calling-me-a-stuffed-shirt-you-can’t-possibly-be-more-wrong” pose.
The “Help-I-am-held-hostage-in-the-store-room-of-an-Advance-Autoparts-dealer” pose.
The “Gee-is-she-for-real?”-pose.
The “Shocked?-Use-our-fine-products” pose.
The “Thank-you-for-telling-me-that-my-panties-are-showing”-pose.
The “How-do-you-like-my-tattoos-on-my-tatas?” pose
This is a specialist pose, directed at the upskirt photographer community.
Posing is serious business, and pagan nuns are continuously graded by quality inspectors.
Commercial break: If you occasionally google pictures of your ex, you’ll also like “The girls of the 2014 Tokyo Auto Salon.”
Scale is very important in the auto-business, where there is great quality in quantity.
Effects of the ongoing kimonodification.
If this is war, we can all be for it.
Yet another rigorous QA session.
Kaizen in motion: Under the watchful eyes of her shift supervisor, the lady performs her assigned operating procedure.
Buzzzz! There is a small equipment malfunction. Shift supervisor stops the line, takes corrective action.
Ding-dong! The line is running again.
Commercial break: For apparent reasons, it must be stated again that the primary mission of the Tokyo Auto Salon is the proliferation of bolt-ons and body-kits. Please write it down.
Audi has a very attractive presence at the Tokyo Auto Salon.
So does AMG, the hot-rod arm of Germany’s Daimler. Detroit automakers boycott Tokyo, as usual.
One manufacturer of rims tries to stand out from the sea of manufacturers of rims, and uses long-nosed booth personnel. Diversity is good.
But then, certain grass-eating demographics may find the inside of minivans more fascinating than the other sex.
And this concludes our uncoverage of the Girls of the 2015 Tokyo Auto Salon. We thank you for your attention.
Domo arigatou gozaimashita!
