Infiniti squashes human centipede

A disbelieving Jeff Kuhlman

A disbelieving Jeff Kuhlman

A few car blogs reported yesterday that the upcoming Infiniti Q80 will have an “innovative 1+1+1+1 seating where all four passengers sit single file behind one another.” At the blog where Ed and I worked before, they likened the alleged seating arrangement to the film “The Human Centipede,” where people were stitched together, mouth to anal orifice – probably not the association the upscale brand wants to trigger.

Today, I was at an exclusive little party, where we did bid Andy Palmer adieu before he assumes his post as CEO of Aston Martin. At Tokyo’s Foreign Correspondent’s Club, I was sitting beer glass to beer glass with Nissan’s chief spokesman Jeff Kuhlman, and the following discussion ensued.

“Jeff, is it true that in the new Q80 people will sit like birds on a wire?”

“What?”

“We are led to believe there is in-line four seating.”

“What?”

“It says so here.” (Smartphones get switched on.)

“What the ….”

“But is it true?”

“No!”

“No single file?”

“No!”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely! I have seen the car!”

Kuhlman explained that the seats of the Q80 concept will be not four in a row, but 2 next to each other, and that they will be “cocoons, kind of like in modern business class.”

With that out of the way, we were able to focus on the true topic of the day: The sending off of Andy Palmer to England. We will thoroughly miss him, and his often acerbic remarks that were always good for a headline. Palmer will assume his new post on October 1.